Tag Archives: Rick Perry

A Message From God!


Dear People of Earth:

I did not create this ungodly creature.

That must be the work of my other Son, the Fallen Angel…Lucifer or whatever
name he’s going by now.

Anyhow, back to the business at hand. Billions (ya got that?) of years ago when I created this little place called Earth, my instruction manual (I believe you call it the Bible?) had  distinct instructions regarding the punishment you would receive for messing with my creation.

Quite frankly, all this drilling, deforestation, smog, and other assorted poisons are destroying what I’ve created. Not to mention all those wars and bigotry going on. Not nice! And I’m pissed. But I haven’t done anything yet…

Now, I know some of the Fallen Angel’s other creatures, folks like Rick Perry and Michele Bachmann, have been foaming at the mouth lately about me taking retribution in the form of environmental calamities because some nice black man raised the debt limit….

{Side note: Do you idiots have any idea how much it cost me to create the ground you’re walking on? Gazillions! I went over budget so many times I had to sacrifice my other son! Fuck! Spend that money, America! You can’t take it with you!}

Damn…sorry about the rant. Anyhow, no. I didn’t send the earthquakes, floods, tornadoes, and hurricanes down from my lofty perch up here in the clouds just because the Republicans prayed for it as some kind of divine retribution. I mean, seriously…why would I want to listen to those  simpletons?

Hold on. I need a stiff drink. Ok. I feel better now. What was I saying? Oh. Yeah. Retribution…

You want retribution, Palin? Bachmann? Perry? Here ya go!

ANCHORAGE, Alaska — A 6.8-magnitude earthquake in the Pacific Ocean prompted a brief tsunami warning early Friday morning for Alaska’s Aleutian Islands.The warning was canceled after only a small wave was recorded in the community of Atka, Alaska.

“In Atka, they had a little bump of a wave, but nothing of any kind of a destructive power. Just a wave,” said Jeremy Zidek, a spokesman for the Alaska Department of Homeland Security.

The earthquake struck at about 2:55 a.m. AKDT, and there were no initial reports of injuries or damage, according to the United States Geological Survey.The tsunami warning was issued for coastal areas of Alaska from Unimak Pass to Amchitka Pass, remote and not heavily populated areas.

There. Done! Now quit blabbering nonsense and help that nice black guy create some jobs for America!

Love,

God Almighty

(But you can call me God)

The Tea Baggers New Hero?


I guess you could say it’s been leading up to this…Last year, following the election of Barack Obama as President and a prominent spot on the Drudge Report, Fox News, a mention on Chuck Baldwin’s blog, a shout out on Glenn Beck, and a mention by Pat Buchanan, as well as being the subject of articles in the Wall Street Journal and New York Post, the newest darling of the crazy right wing loon Tea Party circuit isn’t Sarah Palin, although I’m sure she can wave at him from her front porch.

It’s the former Soviet Union’s KGB-honcho-turned-Russian-talk-radio-show-host Igor Panarin, and the right wing has once again became enthralled with his latest doomsday predictions. n152753096529_5311

Panarin visited the United States last week. Specifically, he visited Texas, land of the secessionist Governor Perry and more right wing tea party kooks than you can shake a stick at. At an event hosted by the Houston Tea Party Patriots, Panarin repeated his predictions of the downfall of the United States thanks to lax immigration laws and so-called impure moral standards.

Of course this got the Tea Baggers all excited with spectulation! Not the type to let common sense take over, said spectulation ran rampant over the map Panarin presented describing the future look of our country:

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Before you pass all this off as the craziness of another loon, read what the so-called respectable Wall Street Journal said:

“Prof. Panarin, 50 years old, is not a fringe figure. A former KGB analyst, he is dean of the Russian Foreign Ministry’s academy for future diplomats. He is invited to Kremlin receptions, lectures students, publishes books, and appears in the media as an expert on U.S.-Russian relations.”

Huh. To think that just a little less than a year ago if a Democrat had paid this much attention to a Russian they’d be run out of town on a rail, declared unpatriotic, a traitor, and the subject of every single news story on Fox!

But then…if  Fox News and the WSJ say’s he’s not a kook, who are we to argue?